Where is your Joy?

The purpose of this blog post is simply to share something that I received this past weekend during Mother's day at church.  Now, most people who know me know that I tend to talk about life issues in many ways...sometimes secularly and sometimes in a religious sense.  This post will touch a little of both.

The message Sunday was one in a series of sermons about the Fruits of the Spirit, and this week, Pastor Simmons discussed Joy. It was a follow-up sermon to his discussion on Love the week before, and he tied both concepts together beautifully (and in under 20 minutes.) As he spoke, I felt that mostly everything that was said applied to me, and therefore, I will share with you what I got out of the sermon in hopes that if you need to hear it to, you will at this point.

Joy vs. Happiness

Pastor Simmons spent a major portion of the lecture discussing the difference between joy and happiness. (Paraphrasing) He defined happiness as something that is tied into the tangible...that is, attached and dependent on people, places, possession, and status.  He spoke of how we often feel like we are happy when we obtain the things of this world, but that the things of this world devalue at times, and that our happiness can fluctuate with this process.  People will inherently fail us, we inherently get bored with possessions...ultimately, happiness can change from one moment to the next.

Joy, however, is something that relies not on the external environment (your loved ones, friends, possessions, etc.) but on your internal environment (your spirituality, faith, and divine connection.)  He described how joy will allow you to maintain peace and happiness even when the things of the world fail you.  Ultimately, if joy is sought, it won't fail you because it is tied to the intangible, which rarely fails you.

As I listened to this, I began to think about the things that bring/brought me "happiness" and I realize that it was exactly what had been happening with me in my life.  I would often tie my friendships and relationships to my happiness. (For me, possessions, status, and other superficial things were never really apart of what I valued highly.)  This at times was to a fault, and as he spoke, I could directly tie the darker points of my life and my happiness to an inherent flaw in human nature and how those people who I invested so much of my happiness into were only doing what was bound to happen anyway. Now granted, that doesn't excuse anyone for anything that happened if it was their fault, but it does put into perspective how much power I gave those individuals over my happiness.  This was something that I needed to hear, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

Happiness in Others

Another aspect that hit me as I listened to Pastor Simmons was the notion that it is truly unfair for us to put so much of our happiness and perceived "joy" into other  people. Now, this wasn't part of the sermon, but I began to realize that the pedestal that we place people on in our lives is sometimes undeserved, but in many cases, unwanted.  When you elevate humans to a level above human in your life, you essential place the burden of YOUR happiness on THEIR shoulders.  Granted, people should not try to hurt others in life, and making loved ones happy is something we all should want to do. But if we allow someone else to define so much of our happiness, we are asking them to fulfill a job to which they may not be equipped.

Sidenote: Now before I get jumped on, I am not saying that we shouldn't have expectations, nor should we communicate our desires and wants in relationships with family/friends/mates/etc.  But what I am saying is that we can't let something as personal as our happiness be dictated by whether or not those people are doing what WE want them to do or if they are in the constraints of what WE need for happiness.  Our happiness should be invested into something a bit more foolproof than human nature.

This all hit me like a ton of bricks...a ton of enlightening, insightful bricks.(And all in under 20 minutes. Take that, COGIC church.)


Seeking Joy

From here, my goal is to seek joy...that is, to seek the peace and happiness that comes from understanding myself, my faith, and my spirituality rather than the happiness that comes from the things and people of this world.  How to do that?  Well, that is going to take some soul searching, since it is only Tuesday and the message was given Sunday.  But I do know that from this point on, I will try my best to delve deeper into the things that are of substance in my life and that are meant to provide joy.  It will be a long road, but I am glad that I am finding this out at at the age of 29 instead of 79.

Happiness is fleeting, but joy is long lasting.  I hope that you and I both can find that joy that will provide us the longstanding happiness we all deserve.