I Have Atoned

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

Precedes every Catholic confession. The trouble with that, which is one reason the Catholic church catches scrutiny, is that this atonement has to be made to another human vessel in order to be transmitted to God. In other words, God needs an interpreter, because he and I do not speak the same language.

Not the case...

So why do I bring this up? Lately, I have been dealing with atoning for many of my transgressions towards the people in my life. They have been nothing major, but they were enough to be worthy of formal apologies. My trouble is that I never know when to stop apologizing. You see, I am the type of person that never wants anyone to look at me in an ill light because of something that I may have done unknowingly, and for the most part, these are the types of transgressions that I have committed. (Most of the time, if I knew that I was doing it, I will not apologize for it, since I thought it out in advance-with a few exceptions.)

As a side note, studies show that fewer Catholics commit suicide. The issue is that they receive instant confirmation from the Priest that they have made adequate atonement. Just say some hail mary's and everything will be alright. I have no such system, and so I never know when I should be able to move on from a situation.

Well, that has to change.

I have determined several things. For one, everyone will offend or hurt anyone in their lives in some way shape or form. It may be small...it may be big...but it will happen. With that said, I am tired of having to deal with my transgressions days, months, even years after it happened. I know that it is hard to shake somethings, but the victim of these transgressions must realize that, to almost the same extent, I have to deal with the guilt and hurt of knowing that I hurt someone for whom I care. That in itself is a big punishment and a deterrent for future iniquities. Secondly, I realize that only two of the three parties involved need to be satisfied with my apology in order for me to move on...God and me. The victim, though I hate to say it, will have to deal with it in his/her own way. And if he/she decides to hold a grudge against me for it, than he/she will have to deal with the repercussions of that grudge, and the unhappiness that accompanies it.

People often use the guilt one feels for the transgression as leverage for future situations. It is almost as if one incident can lead to being controlled by those who feel hurt by you. Well, I am not letting guilt be the ruin of me. If I apologize, and whole-heartedly mean it, then there is nothing more I can do. Once I make amends, I am through with it, and from there, it is up[ to the other party what he/she does from there.

God and I are through with the situation.

Ranting a Bit- Conventional Wisdom

I hate arguing.

Arguing, to me, is when you debate topics without facts or substantiation for ones point. But I have come to realize that people do alot of arguing, rather than discussing things intelligently. That bothers me...

For one, I hate for anyone to tell me that my opinion is wrong. Opinions cannot be wrong. However, they could be based on misinterpretation of facts. But no ones opinio can be proven wrong. So when I meet people who ask my opinion, and then say that my opinion is wrong simply because they don't agree with it, then to me, it is grounds for debate. But once a debate begins, and the other party has no factual basis to back it up, then it turns into arguing, and that is when there is no winner except the person who can piss the other person off quickest.

I discussed opinion with a lady in my life and she tends to think that one can debate an opinion without having facts to back his or her views. That bothers me. You can discuss them, but if you are going to debate someone elses opinion and you have nothing on which to stand, then you are just running to a gun fight without a weapon. But I have also noticed that the powers that be count on this...they count on us to form opinions and persuade others to do the same, without knowing the facts. That is how Bush got back in office (in my opinion).

Let me stop with my digression.

On the topic of debate, my best friend and I were taught and trained to debate using ceretain methods, one of which is the use of logical fallacies. Logical fallacies are ways of breaking down an argument based on an inappropriate preponderance of the facts. In other words, if you develop an opinion, but it is based on errored facts, then that is to be discussed. Well, my lady friend kinda got snappy about the fact that I use this method to dissect arguments thrown at me. She says that what I see as a method of debate could be for others conventional wisdom. This may be true, and it was conventional wisdom for me as well. But once I was trained to use my conventional wisdom properly, it no longer allows for inappropriate discussion of the facts.

It's like playing basketball. There are plenty of people out there who can play basketball, and are good at it. That is because they have conventional wisdom (natural talent). But will they ever go pro...probably not, unless they are coached and trained on how to use their raw talent. And when they try to play against the coached teams, they are outmatched...

Conventional wisdom without adequate training is like a boat without a rudder...it will move, and it will float, but it will have no direction.

I am finished ranting...just needed to vent a little bit.